Winds that Change…again

Yesterday I wrote. I wrote a sentence in the morning that went like this:

Today I was greeted by cold blasts that felt good, really good.

And then I had to go. But I returned to my sentence a couple of hours later and wrote for 40 minutes straight. I felt proud and “back” in my groove. I hit publish. A few moments later while rereading, I wanted to adjust some syntax..I hit edit and BLAM…everything disappeared but that first sentence fragment…not even the whole sentence. I panicked. I tried to get it back.

Finally I resolved my self to the winds of change and let it go. I deleted my “Winds of Change” post. I closed the laptop and shrugged. It had been six months since my last post.

Then, this morning, I got an email from a friend. She is reading my blogs…could even be reading right now. I thought of her and her unwavering support. I opened my laptop and here we are…it is that simple in life. Choices surround us every second. I may not like what is being blown at me but I can change my reaction.

Yes. It feels good, really good.

Through the thicket I go…

I would love to write that I am dauntless in my adventure with reflection and commitment to writing. However I have learned that being more familiar and honest with my fears and doubts

Flowers delivered 14Nov2011

Flowers delivered 14Nov2011

at least makes them smaller – more manageable.

My little girl is crawling around the cottage, playing with the cats and enjoying a delightful snack of animal crackers. She is my renewed spirit in myself. I have deepened my determination to become the woman I so wish to be, the woman I am. I am capable of being amazing and proud of my accomplishments and I know that my biggest obstacle is myself.

Through the thicket I go to see a new side of myself.

My little one is singing a song and exploring everything the world has to offer. As I am committed to keeping options open for her, making wonderful possibilities come her way – I need to provide these things for myself. I am loyal to my heart more than I have ever been. The workout plans, the diet dreams and the artistic endeavors are all within my reach if I stretch out for them.

Here I will unveil the process. Does this lead to the secret garden – what am I planting, harvesting, nurturing in this garden?

original post 8feb2013