We are in a challenging time, challenging phase with my four yr old. She turned four a month ago and I was hoping that with her birthday a magic lever would be mystically pulled by the universal force of love and gratitude. A lever that would transform the boundary testing three year old into a breezy charismatic four year old. This did not happen. It does not exist. I am everyday a new shade of exhausted. 

Ñbn bñnaggyjb Within this past week, I have reached new levels of frustration and anger and yes, I lost my composure on more than one occasion. I went to crazy town with no hope of return. I think I screamed more this weekend than I did in her first three years of life. I am not proud. It isn’t funny. Does it make me a “bad parent”? I don’t think so. I can be honest with myself and give myself the kindness I would extend a friend. 

Raising children is not easy. I never thought it would be. However, no matter how much experience with kids I have had, nothing prepared me for how complex my relationship could be with my daughter.