A week ago, I laid splayed out out on an operating table and there were “complications.”
Things went unexpectedly wrong. Now, here I am “taking it easy”. I am not even sure what that means. Seriously, I am struggling to wrap my mind around what it looks like, what it feels like. I have quickly come to realize that I am someone who needs a doctor to outline and give examples of what it means to rest. I know how to rest on a vacation. I know how to go to sleep at night. But being home from work unexpectedly and needing to get things done and needing to rest is not an easy translation to my daily life. That is where I am. I get it.
I am first learning to accept that I have spent intense time, effort, and care to become a machine. Even in my mediation, writing, and reading practices there is a constant timetable and “to-do list” impeding my flow. I did not know I had gotten so scheduled and so rushed. The Universe is forcing me to slow down, be present, and be genuine in my mindfulness. It is an incredible lesson I clearly needed. Thank you Universe. As always, you got my back.
Some things I am learning during this respite:
- Take a moment to feel your pain and get to know it with a tender heart.
- Embrace doing less things in a day so that you can do things more fully, more sincerely.
- When you stop trying to do everything, you give opportunity to others to try new things. Also you discover a new path to your goals.