We went picking to heal our hearts and it helped. Yesterday, we found our cat. She had been missing for one day and we knew something was wrong. My husband found her on the side of the road on his way to work. She most likely had been struck by a car and killed. She was only two years old. It was a tough day. I told the kids and cried a lot. I kept reminding them that it was okay to cry and to let out all their feelings. I knew we needed to move and do something though. I decided that peach/pear picking was a good heart healing activity. Something we could do that would make us feel good and not guilty for having too much fun too soon. It was the perfect thing to do. The fresh air, the movement, the smells and colors all made us feel more alive and connected to each other and to love.
This is the first pet my children have lost to death other than snails and fish from their tank. We knew this day would come and knew it would be difficult. I am grateful that they do not have to go to school today and we still have a few days left of summer holiday to peacefully transition through this new experience. I am wondering what their grief will look like today and I am hopeful that we can talk through this together. It has been important for the kids to see us cry and discuss our feelings. It has been crucial for them to hear us ask for alone time. These are all things we want to teach them. -That not only are they entitled to but they can find healthy ways of communicating their needs to others. There is no imposition, obligation, or burden. We are also trying to note that we all feel different things at different times.
Being a parent is difficult. Being a parent who wants to provide and nurture a balanced healthy emotionally intelligent household is a gauntlet. I am doing my best to go forward on this arduous journey. Walking a family through grief with grace while grieving yourself feels like an impossible task at times. However, I remind myself that we will all be the better for it. Today we can allow our selves to be a little busier and more productive towards school and cleaning. I won’t stress the resistance as much as I might have on a different day. One step at a time we will get there. I will remember that the sadness can make us sluggish. But I will also remember to tell them that we can feel sadness and not be sadness.