Unexpected News pt 1

I am a ball of mixed emotions. We are pregnant again. We are not jumping up and down excited. Our first daughter is two and will be three in four months. We never went on the pill in between pregnancies. We were always dancing on the edge of if it happens – great, if it doesn’t – great. After a little over a year after our daughter was born I found out I had several polyps, cysts, and fibroids. We were given the impression having another child would be difficult. Almost another year went by and we were confirmed that tumors grew, hormones were wacky and now I have a fibroid in my uterus. We were recommended to surgery if we wanted to get pregnant.

We decided to be complete with our daughter. The three of us. I spent many months focusing on our future as a family of three. I began this uber committed mindset to do things for myself and provide an incredible life for my little girl. I started to get really excited to take better care of myself and have a little more focus on me.

While visiting family for the fourth of July, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I was in shock. We were no longer thinking about another baby. I had been telling myself about all the reasons why it was better to have one child. We chose not to try not to think about it until I could get confirmation from our doctor. They had given us every reason to believe that if we got pregnant, we would have a miscarriage.    We went to the doctor six days ago. Our midwife cried with joy to see the heartbeat. She said there was very little chance we would have any problems. She seems to think this is meant to be and everything is fine.

I think we are in shock. Are we happy? I feel like we have been getting conflicting ideas, reports, opinions on my health and fertility for over a year. Now I think we are worried that this won’t be as well, easy as the first pregnancy. I think my husband is worried that I will miscarry. I am more worried that something will be wrong with the baby.

We haven’t told anyone but a very close friend. I guess the minute we tell family it becomes real and we will have to be just as open with anything that happens. I hope people in our family are excited. For some reason I am thinking that this is not going to be as joyous a surprise.  Is that crazy? We will find out very soon.



Waiting for test results.  Not a good feeling.  I have been told that I have tumors and cysts that are not cancerous but are growing and could be causing other difficulties in being the healthiest me I can be.  No bueno. 
8 weeks ago we were presented with the option of wait and watch.  I find it mind blowing that wait and watch is legit medical advice. The treatment for my cysts involves birth control. However we haven’t decided if we are “done” having a family. Not that the pill would completely end this but at my age not sure we want to make things more difficult or take any longer.
I have had my next round of scans and I am waiting to hear from the doctor’s office.  I called them to day to remind them that the scans were a week ago – they said they will get back to me.  WHAT? I realise I am not dying but something is growing in my body that makes me feel sick and could be preventing me from having another child.  They’ll get back to me. 
Original post  25april2013