friendship

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Appreciation

Today while at my daughter’s soccer practice, I was chatting with some other parents. One mom that I am friendly with took pause and asked me how I am feeling. It took a moment for it to land on me that she was genuinely asking about me -not my family, my work, my schedule, but asking about ME.

I am so grateful she did that and don’t feel as if I gave it as much appreciation in the moment as it deserved. When I thought about it later, I wrote her a text message to let her know I was grateful.

I would like to do more of that – noticing genuine moments of care and honoring them. I am not going to be grandiose and say that this year, month, week or even day I will commit to that gesture. I am simply going to encourage myself in this moment to be more aware of moments I can be appreciative and do it.

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June Poems: #2

I watch her sleep

envisioning the stretches

the changes

that will happen

over time.

How will she look

in ten years time?

If I am too busy

it will feel like it all happened

in a blink.

For now, I soak up

that angel skin

and soothing snore.

Take a deep breath

and pray for more.

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A Bully is a Bully

It has been a tough week, hell a tough year at my job. Recently my coworkers and I have been subjected to some pointless at work drama. In a pub, at a celebration of people, a party for people who are leaving to go to other jobs (they were laid off), one of my co-workers become loud, agressive and hostile. I was NOT there so this is third party reflection. However, it is truly sad as to why this became drama that extended to almost twice as many people who were actually there at the pub.

My co-worker began to interrupt to attempt at being festive to launch his usual campaign and floggings about our contributions to global warming and the destruction of the universe. He was not drunk. He then became semi abusive in his quest to turn everyone within earshot to be Vegan. This guy does this a lot. We usually shrug it off, but a lot of people have had it with him. Finally, one of the guys that is ‘friends’ with him let him know that people take offense to his approach. Whereas he might be correct and have scientific evidence to back his claims he has undoubtedly become a “Vegan Bully”. When I heard this term, I said that’s exactly what he is!

Vegan Bully. He engages in hostile, aggressive and damning rhetoric to “encourage” his audience to become vegan. Unfortunately he has turned off so many people from trying to cut back from processed foods and meats. I have said he actually makes you want to eat meat and burn down the rainforest.  Maybe only a slight exaggeration. slight.

The point of all of this is – a bully is a bully. Even if you are trying to bring people to a better way of life, your tactics matter. Our Vegan Bully (VB) tried to compare himself to an abolishionist. Really, on the 50 year anniversary of the freedom rides and so many events in the Civil Rights Movement – he wants to use that as his defense to being a jackass. Yuck.

I say, Celebrate your life. Find Balance. Make achievable goals towards a better you and a better world and come from a place of love.

No Bullies allowed.

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come in from the cold

Aside a dancing bonfire in our garden I was reunited with the warmth of my happy soul. The flames flicked and raged cutting through the bitter cold air. The logs piled onto of a snowbank with an icy trail cut around for dancing. Lounge chairs sunken into the frosty snow with a view of our semi-frozen river invited me to rest and learn to warm myself from the inside out.

It is true, I will never be perfect. Not even close and that is fine. I will be warm, I will be loved, I will love.

The people we spend our precious time with is crucial to our inner warmth and strength. I lost my way on this recently. I vowed this year to get back on track and I know I am on that path. I am dancing around a fire in the frigid night air with a smile on my face and laugh in my heart.

 

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not fade away

footprints on my soul

footprints on my soul

What do you take with you? Everyday is another journey and some moments, feelings, people and things move with you and some get left along the side of the road.

I am at a crucial moment in my life. I am being forced to take the final swing of the axe on an eleven year friendship. The other person in this relationship has been one of the closest people in my life for years. In the past few months, I have kept my distance because I didn’t feel emotionally, spiritually nor mentally safe.

I have battled a situation at work with an abusive co-worker, difficult expectations and stressful assessments. I no longer want to be ruled or exhausted by them – I choose to see challenges as an opportunity to shine and learn. I know I can communicate and prosper among those that are full of stress and negative energy. I can surf through it.

I look back at this picture and I am quickly reminded of what really matters in life and how temporary it all is. I choose to focus on the good things in life, the love. I choose to enjoy moment to moment surrounded with those that encourage me to let go of negative baggage. I move forward into this new year with the hope and understanding that I can control my own perspective and actions. I am responsible for how much thought and energy goes into each relationship and the feelings generated from them. I choose happiness and love.

I look at this picture and I feel the prints in my heart and soul that have been made with love and joy. I  look at this picture and let the tide wash the rest away. I have learned from the mistakes and pain and now I let go.

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Finding the Dragon

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I think some circumstances in my life have caused me to break down and retreat. Wait, let me go back. I KNOW some circumstances in my life have caused me to break down and retreat. When I pause today and look back, I can see a slow crumble in my passion, my self esteem, my courage, my peace of mind, my trust.

There is strength hidden inside me. I can feel it now. There is a new glow emerging from the darkness. I am empowered to find the fierce love that flows within me and release it. I can be silent, still and content and still be fierce, strong and passionate. I am all things. I am finding the Dragon. I am listening, learning and loving this release.