Bug Away Spray

July 1

Hi Friend,

I hope this day is a greeting to you with Birdsong.

This morning I am thinking about little bits of advice or impactful choices that reveal confidence and wonder. Sometimes it can be difficult to ask for help. It can be frustrating not knowing what to do. It’s alright. I am learning that in my aging process. It is alright to not know things. It is alright to ask for help. What is important is where do I seek help and what do I do with it.

Out the window in front of my writing desk, is a compilation of plants that I am witnessing their growth and tending to daily. There are a few selections of peppers and tomatillos along with wildflowers and others. Not too long ago, my peppers and tomatillos were being ravaged by…something. I am not entirely sure so I will not cast blame in print. Typically, we grow peppers, because they do well. They have become our safety plant. We have grown weary with the let downs of others and I am now realizing we have a false sense of security in pepper plants. When they came under attack my safety net was under attack as well. In that instant I thought of all the books I have read, the products I have seen on endless aisles in countless stores.  I dug deep and knew I could attack this issue from a healthy angle. I found a simple solution using products that wouldn’t harm my plants or me when I eat the bounty. I’ll admit, I had that cynical moment creep into my brain doubting their effectiveness because they don’t come in a flashy can or full of some yet to be regulated product. I spritzed and sprayed my homemade mixture and wished my plants well. Days later they are thriving and growing beyond my expectations. I am filled with delight. I am reminded to pause and wonder what else can I do that causes less harm, less stress, and gets out of the way to allow growth and wonder. 

As soon as I type this, I think about the ways in which I might apply this to myself. How can I look at my own life and add a little healthy nurturing, less toxins, take pause and think of ways to promote growth and allow time to heal and thrive? How can I be brave and ask for help?

I have learned in my life thus far to shy away from the declarations. The overarching commitments and grandiose statements that I will do something everyday or from now on or something of that sort. I have learned to breathe, do one small thing that feels right. When I forget to keep a streak going or mess up, I take a breath and begin again. So I will simply look at little ways I can do something for myself in moments when I remember to think of it and hope for the best today. Friend, I hope this message gives you a chance to think about one small thing you might do for you. In Joy. 

Begin Again

There is a voice inside me. It varies in volume but is ever constant. This voice is reminding me that I am on a journey. I am not done. I am not only who I was, but so much more I have forgotten and not yet discovered. 

Begin Again.

This is something I hear from deep within my body. my heart, my mind, my soul. When I hear these words I can become so powerful if I give myself the moment to say them out loud to myself. Honor these words and magic happens.

Begin Again. 

I drop the heavy load of guilt, shame, and judgement. I release the joy and pleasure into the universe. I make a contract with myself that there is no one beginning and no single end. 

Begin Again. 

I am vulnerable and meek. I am quiet and cautious. I am observing the world and all its power. I am taking notes. I  study the grace and strength of all around me. I take a pause with rage and anger. I am gentle and loving. I am pensive and full. 

Begin Again.

I am vibrating and steaming and boiling to the top. I can hear nothing but the sound of my own emotions. I spin with the force of generations of earth, wind, and fire. I am infinite in my powerful rage and fervor. I shake the core of my own existence with an outward tsunami of love and raw emotion. I am unstoppable until I am done and empty.

Begin Again. 

this voice can purify me. It can subdue me. It has the ability to motivate me to move mountains. If I listen and repeat, anything is possible. It is all inside waiting for me to breathe and release the transformative power. It is in me. I breathe. I believe. 

Begin Again.